And then, when the point culminant of The Importance of Being Earnest was forming in his brain, I think of Oscar Wilde eating oysters with lemon and crackers thinking about British mangina. I guess I think of these images, these Greats in their human moments, because it makes me feel more like I could get along with them should I ever be invited to a cocktail party in the afterlife. I’d hate to be the only Shmoe in a room full of ‘enlightened’ people, walking though the room chugging a Bud and spattering bits of chili-cheese dog down the front of my heavenly issued white shirt as they sip at ’69 Bolognese or sift fine brandies. I clip my toenails and shave, I take shit breaks and snack breaks and breaks to go to the bank and deposit what little money I made from vacuuming between the cushions of my couch. And the thought that I am not alone in my human actions, the thought that Aristophanes, Shakespeare, Wordsworth, any one of the Bronte sisters, Jane Austin, or William Carlos. Laura did not realize she was shaking her head slowly until she felt her hair swishing around her ears. She took a step forward, now that her feet would move again. Now Sara was shaking her head too. She was leaning back against the counter and thus had less room to maneuver than Laura did, less room to escape."Go, Laura. Don't do this."She now tried to turn away, but Laura caught her and turned her back. "I have to do this. I guess you'll have to call the guards, if you want to get rid of me."Sara erupted in a quick, helpless guffaw. "Are you kidding? Both those guards are on Medicare." Her eyes were now, paradoxically, full of water, threatening to spill.Laura was very close to her, close enough so that they would be touching if she moved forward only two more inches. Fearing what might happen if she did not seize the moment, she did lean forward, kissing Sara's smooth, gleaming forehead. It was easy since Laura was five feet eight and Sara a mere five feet tall.Sara giggled again..
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